The father who sired her handed her over
The crack-handed orchestra played
The bride and the groom stood shoulder-to-shoulder
As the ill-starred wedding was made
She lifted her veil as the groom gently kissed her
And all did appear to be well
But the limousine driver heard every harsh whisper
As they drove to the country hotel
In the grand hotel ballroom the guests were assembling
The champagne like tapwater flowed
The men wearing top hats, and fop coats and top coats
The women in bustles and bows
The bride’s jealous sister sat alone in her place
And sneered as the couple came in
The maitre-de coughed and said “please take your places,
The banquet is about to begin?
The street doors burst open and an army of footman
Swept in bearing salvers and trays
Fiddlers and clowns went from table to table
Amid black smoke and cigarette haze
Noone saw the best man as he secretly winked
At the bride’s jealous sister it seemed
And then cried out “waiter, bring me more drink
And more marilyn monroe ice-cream?
When the wine had been poured and the tables were cleared
The toasts and the speeches began
The bride and groom cut the cake, everyone cheered!
Then all eyes fell on the best man.
He climbed off his chair, and he licked his cracked lips
And declared in a voice cold and dry
“she tricked and hijacked him, with guilt she trapped him
This day is a sham and a lie?
Her father leapt up with a curse and a roar
And slew the best man in the head
The groom cried “blaggard!?and with a flash of his sword
His father-in-law fell down dead
The bride ran screaming in floods of bright tears
And collapsed at the foot of the stairs
Where her sister was waiting with scissors and shears
And hacked off every inch of her hair.
Up on the roof sat seven fat crows, the moon rose low in the west.
The groom was arrested still in his wedding clothes
And hanged in his pants and his vest
The bald-headed bride bought a ticket to spain
And eloped with a wig-makers son
While her jealous mad sister, riven with shame
Became a nun!
"when you marry you will change,"
Said the woman to the man.
"when i marry i will change you,"
Said the woman to the man.
So they married and were happy.
They were happy for a time,
Still they thought about each other
All the time.
"when i marry i will be you,"
Said the woman to the man.
"when you marry you’ll be someone,"
Said the woman to the man.
So they married and were someone.
They were someone for a time,
Still they thought about each other
All the time.
"when you leave me you’ll be sorry,"
Said the woman to the man.
"when you leave me i will haunt you,"
Said the woman to the man.
So he left her and was haunted.
They were haunted for a time,
Still they thought about each other
All the time.
"when i left him i was happy,"
Said the woman to the child.
"when i left him i was happy,"
Said the woman to her child.
So i left him and was happy,
I was happy with his child.
"you won’t know him when you meet him,"
Said the woman to the child.
"you won’t know him if you meet him,"
Said the woman to the child.
But he met him and said, "father,
You were father for a time,
I just wondered who you were in my mind."
"well, i told you he’s your father,"
Said the woman to the child.
"well, i knew it, you would love him,"
Said the woman to her child.
And i loved him and i loved him
And was happy with our child.
What was it that made you
Treat us so unkind ?
"what’s the problem, why ‘re you crying ?"
Said the woman to the man.
"he’s your father, he’s your father,"
Said the woman to her son.
"he’s the problem, he’s my father,
He was father for a time."
"when i die i’ll be with him,"
Said the woman to her son.
"when i die you’ll forgive me,"
Said the woman to the man.
So she did and was buried,
Buried with him for all time.
"when i love you we will marry,"
Said the woman to the man,
"and our children will have children,"
Said the woman to the man.
So they married and had children,
They had children for all time.